Interview With Presidential Hopeful Ralph Nader

HT: Mr. Nader, I admire what you've done for the American consumer in exposing safety problems.

Mr. Nader: Thank you.

HT: But.

Mr. Nader: Spoiler?

HT: Right. Especially Florida. If you split the vote again in a key state, the neocons will have another four years to nibble away at the Constitution and screw up the economy. The damage could be irreparable.

Mr. Nader: Florida was bought and paid for anyway. But I proved that the two party system is defective.

HT: The multiparties in France and Italy are more effective?

Mr. Nader: You miss my point. I'm an agitator. I criticize and expose. I don't offer solutions.

HT: So you don't really expect to be President.

Mr. Nader: I'm exposing the myth that anyone can grow up to be President.

HT: Huh?

Mr. Nader: See.

HT: There's a rumor that you are a pawn for the neocons to confuse the voters. You can't gain the votes of the knee-jerk Republicans, but you can manipulate the rational voter.

Mr. Nader: Whatever works.

HT: It's a power thing then.

Mr. Nader: Of course. It's the American way. I'll make my mark on history.

HT: Or a bad footnote anyway.

Mr. Nader: This interview is over. I don't like your attitude.

HT: Sigh. I get a lot of that.

By the way, my Corvair was a great car with good tires that were properly inflated. The defective heater system was the real danger. Unsafe at Any Speed prevented General Motors from correcting design problems. You've been a spoiler for decades and now you're trying to spoil our political system.

Mr. Nader: No, I'm not the enemy. To quote Pogo, "I have met the enemy and the enemy is us."


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