On a bag of JONNY CAT cat litter -- "JONNY CAT is the best value for your money. A 20-pound bag of JONNY CAT contains 25% more litter than 16-pound bags, and 43% more than 14-pound bags!"
From a kid's Superman costume for Halloween (stitched into the cape's tag) -- "Warning: Use of This Device Does Not Enable Wearer To Fly."
From a Pop-Tart box -- "Warning: Pastry Filling May Be Hot When Heated."
From a newspaper article -- "A congressionally funded study has determined that many smokers are ignoring the warning labels on cigarette packages"
From a hair blow-dryer instruction sheet -- "Warning: Do Not Use While Sleeping."
On the package for Top Cog fan belts (for automobiles) -- "Do not change the belt while the engine is running."
From a Boston Globe piece, during a 1973 summer heat wave describing ways to beat the heat -- "No. 1: Stay out of the direct rays of the sun."
Found on the inside of a pull top lid of a liquid radiator sealant --"Caution: DO NOT LICK LID."
Written on the back of one of those things you put in your car windshield on sunny days when you park to keep your dash from melting -- "DO NOT OPERATE VEHICLE WITH SCREEN IN PLACE."
From the Indigo PC Owners Manual pp.6-9 -- "Hardware Dos and Don't(s): Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw mouse at co-workers."
On a box of those cloth roller towels in a restroom -- "Warning! Improper use may cause serious injury or death!"